[Humor] Markets Recovered Thanks to Anonymous Redditor

Disclaimer: this is a humor piece and should be interpreted as such.

With every major market move, both up and down, some individuals inevitably buy the top or sell the bottom. Past movements suggest that certain all-powerful investors are responsible for market movements, as their trades and decisions lead to opposite, powerful reactions from the market.

On January 17, as Bitcoin approached its bottom of US$9,500, a martyr for the greater cryptocurrency community sacrificed his own success for the good of the market. /u/NekroJakub is one such individual with the power to move markets. That morning, Jakub moved fiat funds to his exchange account to purchase cheap Bitcoin and Ethereum.

However, Jakub recognized that his play had much larger implications. He suggested that the massive downtrend would reverse in the few hours while his fiat transaction was pending. As predicted, Bitcoin and cryptocurrencies as a whole saw a major trend reversal throughout those hours. While it is unknown whether or not Jakub prevented the market from falling further, it is certain that this play did act as a catalyst for the upward price movement.

In the face of whale and Wall Street manipulation, the fate of the market is largely upheld through the valiant sacrifices of these supernatural traders. These individuals forfeit profits, jeopardize holdings, and take on the stress of the entire market in their every day lives.

Along with Jakub, another Reddit martyr by the name of /u/altonism also made a major sacrifice for the good of the market recently. A few days ago, when altcoins saw their values against Bitcoin dropping drastically, /u/altonism sacrificed his own portfolio to stop the trend. Altonism announced that he had sold most of his altcoins, with some sells representing as much as “a 50% loss”.

Altonism is perhaps an even more powerful entity than Jakub, as his orders led to an immediate contrary response from the relevant trading pairs. In the past, Altonism had seen the ever-increasing price of NEO. Wanting to allow others to still buy in, Altonism purchased some at what became the all-time high, granting millions more traders the opportunity to purchase NEO for cheap.

While Altonism successfully halted altcoins from depreciating further against BTC, he did not protect these coins from the possibility of a Bitcoin price decrease. Unfortunately, such a decline did occur shortly after Altonism’s move. With the help of Jakub’s play, however, both the dollar value of Bitcoin and the Bitcoin value of alts are now both increasing by double digit percentages.

It is unknown whether these two saints worked in conjunction with one another. Regardless, they are the undisputed saviors of the market. With proper prayer and sacrifice, it is hopeful that these Redditors along with other omniscient forces can continue to boost the market.